Once again I find myself at the start of a brand New Year with nothing new to show from the previous one. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. They never work. However, this year, I’m going to do something different. I do hereby resolve to finally finish my Thesis. By putting it out in the world, I’m kind of hoping that I can force myself to finish it. This will start my third year working on it. I have this idea that once I finish I can move on from the bookstore. As much as I dislike the bookstore, you would think that I had better motivation for finishing it.
I think I’ve been afraid to finish it. I have no idea what comes after I finish it. I have no plans for my life after. I finally have to begin my life. I’ve been stuck in limbo for about ten years. It’s comfortable and I’m content. It’s a bad place to be. I’m going to begin tomorrow, because, well, why wait till the actual New Year. I’ve wasted enough time dillydallying around with my paper. I want to finish, even though I am very afraid of starting the next chapter. I have to finally close this year and this chapter out. I need to begin my life with or without the necessary courage. Most likely, without.